September222014

I always want to finish getting to the end of my tumblr feed but then I have nothing to do

5PM

Conservative Arguments vs Liberal Arguments

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

redbloodedamerica:

oh-my-darwin:

redbloodedamerica:

On the Minimum Wage

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On the Separation of Church and State

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On the Second Amendment

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On the War on Women

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On the Spread of Radical Islam

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On White Privilege

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On Class Warfare

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On “Gay Rights”

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On Climate Change

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On Healthcare

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So liberals swear a lot? You know, when you create or share something that stereotypes a group as angry and hateful, you in turn make yourself angry and hateful. Whoever made this is not the epitome of civility, but rather one who contributes to the breaking down of honest and reasonable discussion.

But liberals don’t know how to have honest, reasonable discussion.  Plus, they swear a lot.  Did you not learn anything from this post?

Mmmmkay. Let me tackle these one at a time here. Warning, long read ahead of you.

Conservative argument #1: We shouldn’t have a minimum wage because it stifles job growth, increases costs, And never fixes the problem. Artificially increasing wages does not solve poverty.

Actually:
recently published research shows us that modest wage hikes don’t kill growth and jobs at all. The truth is that states that have raised their minimum wage have enjoyed above-average economic growth. The American Sustainable Business Council and Business for a Fair Minimum Wage released a report of a scientific national poll of small business owners. The poll involved a live telephone survey of 555 small business owners, with between 2 and 99 employees each. Respondents spanned the political spectrum, all regions of the country and a broad cross-section of industries. Three out of five small business owners (61 percent) favor raising the minimum wage gradually to $10.10 and then adjusting it annually to keep pace with the cost of living. This new polling data contradicts the oft-repeated claim that raising the minimum wage will kill profits, eliminate jobs and cut growth. Apparently the people doing the hiring and paying the difference don’t agree with those dour predictions. Source

So, let me explain: In order to keep an economy on a good and balanced track, spending powers have to be given to the people who actually spend in the real economy. Consumers have to have the ability to consume the products being produced. Simple enough? This means regular, everyday people. Your average American worker, and not the super wealthy, who more often tend to hoard wealth or invest in financial products, which doesn’t really do much in stimulating an economy….
That is one of the problems with our economy right now. This constantly growing gap between real wages and productivity has mutilated the original relationship between real wages and consumption. So basically, if the output of each worker is increasing, but that worker’s ability to purchase or consume is lagging considerably… then pray tell, how does economic recovery, which relies on growth in spending, sustain itself? This is why minimum wage is actually a very logical idea, and it actually helps STIMULATE the economy and job growth. The more people are able to spend, the more we produce. The more money is made. Everyone is happy, k?

NEXT

Conservative Argument #2: “When the founders of this country wrote “Congress shall write no law respecting an establishment of religion,” they meant that Congress could not establish a national religion for the country.”


Ok so. Yes. And no? Like. They totally were against any kind of laws or governing based on religious value. You only have to read several quotes by the founding fathers to understand that one of their biggest concerns was the country being controlled or run by religious fanatics. With laws and governing being based on religious ideals. Not only did the founding fathers specifically outline not wanting the US to be religiously affiliated in any way, but they literally talked constantly about desiring a separation of church and state:


“The United States of America have exhibited, perhaps, the first example of governments erected on the simple principles of nature; and if men are now sufficiently enlightened to disabuse themselves of artifice, imposture, hypocrisy, and superstition, they will consider this event as an era in their history. Although the detail of the formation of the American governments is at present little known or regarded either in Europe or in America, it may hereafter become an object of curiosity. It will never be pretended that any persons employed in that service had interviews with the gods, or were in any degree under the influence of Heaven, more than those at work upon ships or houses, or laboring in merchandise or agriculture; it will forever be acknowledged that these governments were contrived merely by the use of reason and the senses.”
~John Adams, “A Defense of the Constitutions of Government of the United States of America” 1787-1788


“The Government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian religion.”
~1797 Treaty of Tripoli signed by John Adams


Also. That whole “separation of church and state” thing. Yeah, it ain’t in the constitution. It’s simply taken directly from the words of Thomas Jefferson and James Madison themselves:

“I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibit the free exercise thereof, thus building a wall of separation between church and state.” ~Thomas Jefferson, letter to the Baptists of Danbury, Connecticut, 1802


“Because religious belief, or non-belief, is such an important part of every person’s life, freedom of religion affects every individual. State churches that use government power to support themselves and force their views on persons of other faiths undermine all our civil rights. Moreover, state support of the church tends to make the clergy unresponsive to the people and leads to corruption within religion. Erecting the “wall of separation between church and state,” therefore, is absolutely essential in a free society. We have solved … the great and interesting question whether freedom of religion is compatible with order in government and obedience to the laws. And we have experienced the quiet as well as the comfort which results from leaving every one to profess freely and openly those principles of religion which are the inductions of his own reason and the serious convictions of his own inquiries.” ~Thomas Jefferson: in a speech to the Virginia Baptists (1808)


“The civil government … functions with complete success … by the total separation of the Church from the State.”
~James Madison, 1819, Writings, 8:432, quoted from Gene Garman, “Essays In Addition to America’s Real Religion”


“And I have no doubt that every new example will succeed, as every past one has done, in shewing that religion & Govt will both exist in greater purity, the less they are mixed together.” ~James Madison, letter to Edward Livingston, July 10, 1822


“Strongly guarded as is the separation between Religion and Government in the Constitution of the United States, the danger of encroachment by Ecclesiastical Bodies, may be illustrated by precedents already furnished in their short history.” ~James Madison; Monopolies, Perpetuities, Corporations, Ecclesiastical Endowments

Tell me again that the founding fathers did not intend for the implementation of separation between government and religion? Because I’m pretty positive that is what they meant and you know it. And quite frankly, it’s a few hundred years later. Pretty sure that regardless of how you interpret the constitution, it’s pretty fucked up that this country is largely and dominantly run by Fundamentally Christian politicians. I don’t care who you are, or what religion you follow or don’t follow. Denying people personal and social freedoms based off of religious belief is unconstitutional. Point blank. It should be simple. If they aren’t hurting anyone or causing harm, then why the fuck do you think you have a right to tell them they aren’t allowed to do it just because your religious moral dictates it is wrong? Example: If your religion says birth control is wrong, then you don’t take birth control. Doesn’t mean you get to actively deny others from taking it. Especially if you are supposed to be supplying medical benefits to people and you still decide to cover fucking viagra, but not brith control? Come ON, man. Get your shit together.

NEXT

Conservative argument #3:
"The constitution guarantees me the right to protect myself if I so choose. Because when seconds count, the cops are only minutes away."


Guess what. Gun control does not automatically mean we’re coming to each and every door and taking all of your weapons away! It means just what it says. CONTROL. As in, reel it the fuck in a bit, would ya? As is, gun laws all over this country are pretty lax, in some places barely existent, or just regularly ignored. While cops are focused way too bloody much on this ridiculous war on drugs, criminals are given easy access to guns and rifles and weapons due to not enough funding going towards hindering that (because money is made off gun production while pharmaceutical companies lose big bucks when the people self medicate). Meaning, ANYONE can find both legal and illegal access to guns, regardless of mental stability, criminal history, or even whether or not you can hold one correctly lol. In other countries, not only do you need to apply for a license and pass a psych evaluation and a background check, but you have to actually take a test and pass it to get your license. You know, the way we do with vehicles in order to make sure people can safely control them and know how to use them? Yeah, that’d be pretty handy if we had that with our handy dandy defense weapons. Also, I fail to see why anyone needs access to extreme assault rifles. But that’s just me. And if you look at the data and research and staggering amount of evidence, gun control DOES, in fact, bring down the amount of gun related deaths and murders, as well as school shootings which we, as a country, are currently pretty damn infamous for. I personally don’t know any balanced liberal or democrat that supports the outright banning of all guns and weapons, so I don’t know what you’re hollering about lol. Gun control does not equal NO GUNS AT ALL.

Conservative Argument #4
"I tend to vote Republican because I believe in individual rights, a small government, minimum taxes, free enterprise, and self-responsibility."


… do I even need to point out the ridiculousness of this argument? Ok one. Most Republicans don’t want production based on social need, whatsoever. Everything is to be produced or created for profit. Whether or not you support capitalism is not a question here. It’s how long can you sustain a strong civilization, based off of profit and want alone? You NEED to have social necessity added into the equation. Production should also be based on needs from society. You cannot call yourself the “land of opportunity” if opportunity is not equally granted to EVERYONE, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, or wealth and status. In order to achieve this, social work is a must! Government work is essential. And this strange idea that government is some kind of all controlling evil body that needs to be made tinier and tinier is getting ridiculous. Especially when the reason behind the government sucking is because its controlling body is made up of government officials who DON’T even BELIEVE in the existence of government! We literally have members of government who hate government and want most if not all services to be privatized. Government is made up of your everyday average working citizens: teachers, social workers, fire fighters, cops, construction workers who build our highways, roads, and keep our electricity running, dmvs, ect. Minimum taxes? Okay. Guess you don’t want roads, highways, infrastructure, cops, firefighters, emts, teachers, military and defense, libraries, public education ect. Minimum taxes means minimum resources to everyone, putting the lower class, poor, women and children, on the impoverished side of things, making it hard for them to get a single step forward. Self responsibility? More like every man for himself. I don’t know about you, but I like the idea of living in a constructive, modern and progressive society, one where people have a sense of public responsibility to each other. To giving back to the community, especially one that granted you the resources to rise. I want civilization that thrives on both profit and want, as well as societal needs and value of community responsibility, in order to keep the economy and people well and working, we must work for each other AND ourselves.


Conservative argument#5
"We have to be vigilant when it comes to the spread of radical Islam. Their goal is to replace other cultures with a caliphate and will do anything to achieve it."


… Sounds oddly familiar to a certain big religion in the US. In fact, I’m pretty certain that one of the biggest terrorists of all time, the one behind the extermination of millions… was a Christian fundamentalist… oh and he based his ideas for extermination off of the mass genocide of Native Americans which has been estimated to be well over 95 million lives extinguished, along with a vast culture diminished, swept aside, and the history of its happening not only ignored, but covered up and rewritten, with a phony national holiday “Thanksgiving” created. And there are still Christian terrorists today, partaking in several horrendous acts of terror, such as ongoing US slavery, a product of our extremely flawed incarceration system which functions for profitable means and due to such, the freest country in the world is also the highest incarcerated and largest percentage of people behind bars are African Americans, despite the fact that they make up only 14.1% of our population… But sure. It’s only radical Islamists who are the terrorists here. White Christian men do not ever partake in spreading their religious ideology everywhere and anywhere, destroying, pillaging, and stealing entire lands from indigenous peoples…

Conservative argument #6

"I believe like Martin Luther King Jr. that we should judge a man by the content of his character, not the color of his skin. All men are equal under the law."

Great. Glad you believe that. Now show it. Become an ally to PoC. Stop complaining about affirmative action. Stop derailing social work meant to uphold and spread equality and assist racially oppressed people. Do something about the racist incarceration system in this country, which very much operates on racial bias and prejudice towards African Americans and PoC. Fix our fucked up educational system, which is funding schools based on property value and so totally creates an unjust position of class for Black youth and tips the scales in favor of the wealthy and the white and already well off classes.

Conservative argument #7
"We do not have classes in America. We have what is called economic mobility. You move up or down in life depending on your skill."


Wow. Just. No. That’s the way we wish things operated. But unfortunately no. Jeez. Do I really even have to go into the many forms of marginalization there is? How society is currently hugley tipped in favor of whites? Of males? Of heterosexual, cis gender, neurotypical people? White cis people are a privileged class, who are afforded the most opportunity in this country. More specific, white cis males are majorly the ones in control, with the vast majority of wealth and power and control being in their hands, passed down from generation to generation as well. We have many classes in this country. We have marginalized and oppressed groups who, without any intervention or social work, will continue being disadvantaged and oppressed. Denying the existence of class struggle and oppression is vital to the continuation of it. And if you are going to continue being blissfully ignorant, in denial, and uncaring of oppression in a country that prides itself on opportunity and freedom, then in my opinion, you are woefully and blindly offering a hand in tyranny.


Conservative argument #8
"If an owner of a shop does not want to provide his/her services to a customer because they personally or morally do not agree with the conditions, they have the freedom to deny services."


Well gee, this opens up a big fucking can of worms for people to get away with all sorts of discrimination then. How about I open a store and offer my goods and services, but put a big sign out front that says “NO WHITES, NO CHRISTIANS ALLOWED”. Then I wonder what you’d be saying. Something tells me you would have an issue with it. This is just such a fucking ridiculous and immature argument. “If I don’t like someone, I can kick them out of my business!” Gee, I’ve decided I have a personal belief against mustaches. No men with mustaches allowed in my store! lol I mean, really? You’re not allowed to discriminate against people. Omgosh what an awful thing? How will I continue being a dick to people whose lifestyle I don’t understand if I’m forced to be a civil human being to them? MY RIGHTS ARE BEING STOMPED ON HERE.


Conservative argument #9
"There is plenty of scientific data and evidence to support that man made global warming is not occurring as once predicted. It has become a political issue aimed at taxation and regulation."


I don’t even. This one seriously irritates me lol. Literally all scientific evidence and data points to climate changes and human beings ongoing effects upon it! Holy shit what scientific data are you reading, dude?

Since 2001, 34 national science academies, three regional academies, and both the international InterAcademy Council and International Council of Academies of Engineering and Technological Sciences have made formal declarations confirming human induced global warming and urging nations to reduce emissions of greenhouse gases.


Through a single organisation, between 2002 and 2010, conservative billionaires secretly donated nearly $120 million (£77 million) to more than 100 organizations seeking to cast doubt on the science behind climate change.

Gee, I wonder why. Could it be that all they care about is money and profit? And not the environment or the people or future they’re effecting. Hmm.

And LASTLY
The Obamacare argument….

Tbh, I’m gonna go ahead and admit that I am on the fence about this one. Although I don’t want it repealed because it has helped so many, I will admit that I see how companies are now less likely to offer full time due to not wanting to be forced to provide health insurance and benefits because it can be costly. It’s already been happening to me and everyone in my area of living… But tbh, I don’t know a whole lot about it and I’m not going to pretend I do. So I currently don’t have an informed opinion on this topic. What I would like is a Universal system but there was no way that Republicans were ever gonna go for that. So I don’t know. Maybe someone else can add on to this part who knows more than I do.

5PM

micdotcom:

Potent minimalist art sends a strong message about police and vigilante brutality in America

Journalist and artist Shirin Barghi has created a gripping, thought-provoking series of graphics that not only examines racial prejudice in today’s America, but also captures the sense of humanity that often gets lost in news coverage. Titled “Last Words,” the graphics illustrate the last recorded words by Brown and other young black people — Trayvon Martin, Oscar Grant and others — who have been killed by police in recent years.

Let us not forget their voices

(via bubbles-kicks-ass)

5PM

luigl:

sageruto:

complete this post

im not racist but

i love to fuck eggs, all i can think about is their white exterior rubbing against my dick im not racist but egg fucking is my true passion

(via bubbles-kicks-ass)

5PM
urgentcum:

I DID NOT KNOW SIRI COULD DO THIS REBLOG TO SAVE SOMEONES LIFE

urgentcum:

I DID NOT KNOW SIRI COULD DO THIS REBLOG TO SAVE SOMEONES LIFE

(via bubbles-kicks-ass)

5PM

The 3rd GIF in your folder is your reaction when your favorite character dies.

kuwata-kun:

kadytheredpanda:

majorabbey:

disneytasthic:

jiyuriahi:

thegifinyourfolder:

image

Submitted by: evilpuzzlewriter

image Huh. The other one depending on direction. 

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All I ever wanted was for them to live… 

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5PM
4PM

theoneandonlylobster:

piccolowasablackman:

missespeon:

supreme-thunder-dragon:

zevransbutt:

facebook really does have a tendency to make ppl show their true colours lmao
and no im not erasing the names they commented on a public page boohoo

How are they gettin so mad about this

"hey sexual assault is bad" "SJW FEMINIST PROPAGANDA THIS IS THE END, HASHTAG GAMERGATE"

Oh my god is this real are people really crying sjw about a game supporting the stopping of sexual assault I can’t take this world

"Or people who don’t like rape" EXCUSE ME IMPLYING THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO DO?

I think that was a response to someone being an asshole

(via synapse-heart)

4PM
cribbagematch:

odysseiarex:

renstability:

ziraangel:

evilauthor:

indynerdgirl:

madam-cj-says-relax:

patrickat:

kaiju3:

The American Hogwarts Houses

Look at your school of witchcraft and wizardry. Now look at mine. Now yours. Now back to mine. Sadly, your school is not mine, but if you all got off your broomsticks and started using a real sorcerer’s deodorant, it could smell like mine. Abracadabra! I’m a horse.

Good. Night. I’m done.

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

I AM ALARMED. WHICH ONE IS THE HUFFLEPUFF ONE? THE YELLOW ONE HAS BIRDS AND THAT CONFUSES ME.

It is AMERICAN houses, Ebil. Why would one be hufflepuff? Maybe you are a fox. Cunning, smart, LOYAL. Foxes stay with one mate all their life, in loff. If that ain’t loyalty, i don’t know what is.The bear, bird, and wolf ain’t got that. Be a fox. Be strong. Be cunning. Be loyal. Be you and never let anyone crush you because while people only see cute and sneaky. You know who you are, and will not break.

Wolfthorn
Crest Animal- Timber Wolf
Colors- Blue and Silver.
Element- Water
Season- Winter
Qualities- Selflessness, Responsibility, Teamwork
Those of the Wolfthorn house value Teamwork and Selflessness over any of the other houses. Like the wolf members of this house learn to attack problems as a singular unit towards a common goal. Each member works to understand each other equally and play to each other’s strengths. In order to do so each house member must remember to serve each other and not themselves, selflessness in teamwork to keep others at the forefront of their mind is the basic key element to any collective strategy. 
House Ghost- Patient Pamuy. 
The house ghost of Wolfthorn is a Hopi woman in her late teens, once the highly revered medicine woman of her village. When the soldiers from the east came in being both Native American and a pracitioner of ‘black magic’ as the soldier, she was the first to die in her village. After a series of gruesome acts commited on her. Now she roams the halls, patiently assisting the members of her house in herbology as it was always a love of her people to be in touch with nature to heal those around her. 
Hawkridge
Crest Animal- Ferruginous Hawk
Colors- Gold and Black
Element- Air
Season- Spring
Qualities- Honesty, Intelligence, Patience
Like the hawk members of this house are patient and intelligent, always waiting for an opportunity to prove their intelligence with their brilliant plans and tactics. Like the hawk this house is sharp and quick with their wit. However, you will never have to know what these house members are thinking as they will let you know, they believe that honesty and intelligence go hand in hand since evidence and truth go hand in hand. The members of this house are very black and white and treat justice with openness. Lying and false information will get you on this house’s bad side quickly.
House Ghost- Confident Cruz
Once a proud Mestizo man in the Mexican Army, he now spends his days confidently recalling the events leading up to his death. Never failing to include each and every individual detail up until the moment of his death. He is proud that he fought for Mexico and for the land of his ancestors against white invaders. When talked to he will talk about Mexico as his proud homeland with nothing but glory and love for his home. Anytime a student has their history incorrect or twisted with the glorification of ‘settlers’ he will quickly and sternly correct them on who the invaders were, and who’s land belonged to who. He will not tolerate lies and false information of the accounts of his people and the basis for the fighting of his territory. However if asked about his military days he will more than likely start rattling off from childhood of admiring his strong father to his days as a soldier. He also enjoys teaching those who are interested in his culture and tries to get as many students interested in Dia de les Muertos. 
Foxcrest
Crest Animal- Red Fox
Colors- Red and White
Element- Fire
Season- Autumn
Qualities- Loyalty, Cunning, Resourcefulness
The cunning trickster, is what most think of when they hear of the fox. The trickster who deceives men and dogs in order to live. However, what you might not think of is loyalty a fox has one mate for their entire life and remains loyal every season even though they are apart. Like the fox members of this house pride themselves on the loyalty to their friends and family. Willing to go to any and all lengths to protect their loved ones and ensure their happiness. Members of this house are also cunning and resourceful, they will find as many ways as they can to keep their head above the water with their loved ones. Because, no one can look after their significants quite like they can. A Foxcrest will do all that they can to succeed in the name of their loved ones, and in their honor.
House Ghost- One-Eyed Jacqueline Thibodeaux.
Once a proud voodoo queen in Louisiana this woman lived with pride and loyalty to her home of Zimbabwe. After being forcibly removed from her lands, brought to Haiti, and then to Mississippi as a slave. She used not only her skill in voodoo magick to escape, but her loyalty with the other slaves on her plantation. To escape the cruelty of the plantation, her and many other slaves escaped on the underground railroad. Using both her magic and cunning she was able to escape with her friends and what remained of her family from the horrors of plantation life to Louisiana where she made a name for herself with her voodoo. Becoming a highly regarded voodoo queen she then helped those with an inclination to magick to help free her brothers and sisters trapped on plantations and then giving them refugee in her home. Soon though, news of her operation spread. Using her divination skills she found of the plot to kill her and the escaped slaves, though she could only save herself and not the newly freed men and women, or save them and not herself. She made the quick choice to save them over herself, and stood her ground where she fought tooth and nail with her magick to ensure the survival of her brothers and sisters. She however lost the fight when a white man pulled a gun and ultimate shot her in the eye by sheer dumb luck. She is both a gentle, and helpful ghost who also ensures that students are well aware of the dishonor and torture she went through in the Americas. When asked for help she always seems to know that you were going to ask for help and appears to you before you have to go and find her.
Bearglove
Crest Animal- Grizzly Bear
Colors- Green and Tan
Element- Earth
Season- Summer
Qualities- Bravery, Curiosity, Leadership
Last but certainly not least the home of the bears. Bears are not the naturally aggressive creature but however are curious and have a hierarchy amongst their species. Just like the bear members of this house are known for their fighting skills and bravery, but are also extremely curious. Members of this house exhibit leadership characterstics and always fight for the top of the chain in any event or subject they’re in. Their competitve drive can sometimes lead to hotheadedness and aggressive outbursts with the other students giving them their bear qualities. Loud, boisterous, and certainly commanding students of Bearglove do not have a hard time making a name for themselves in someway shape or form.
House Ghost- ‘Doc’ Thomas Benton
Among the house ghosts he is the most resented, due to his megalomaniac attitude and his past as a serial killer. While in medschool in the 1920’s he sought any and all information to eternal youth as the drive to be the best in his field and to never die to pass on his superior knowledge. No one knows the true nature of his evil some say it was trauma others say it lied in wait. If you ask the other house ghost they will tell you that he was evil from the start and to his very core. While he was alive he under strange circumstances became a hermit, and soon dead animals were found on his land with strange markings carved into them. And then the farmer’s daughter went missing in his town. When townspeople found him he had carved strange markings on her and was mumbling in an incorherent language before tossing her off a cliff. Everytime he’s asked about his death he gives a new story each time, about the scars on his face. The other ghosts say it was one of his evil experiments done onto himself after the town found him killing the farmer’s daughter, in an attempt to save his own life.
Location of  Lavaeudeen ,the Waverly Hills Sanitarium. 
Built in 1910 and expanded to the enormous abandoned hulk it is today in 1924, Waverly Hills Sanitarium was opened to house tuberculosis patients as an isolation hospital. Doctors at the hospital carried out painful experimental surgeries to treat the disease, often with bloody results. One surgery of last resort involved opening the chest cavity to insert balloons into the lungs and another involved removing ribs to allow the lungs to expand. As many as 64,000 people who were admitted to the hospital died there over the years, and at least one employee is reputed to have hung herself in the laundry room on the fourth floor in the 1930s. Those who passed away at Waverly Hills were moved through the morgue and out of the hospital through the body chute that led cadavers out the back out of sight of the patients. Most of the hospital, including the morgue and body chute, remain intact today.
Or so the muggles think, with this story and the appearance by use of charms to give this school an abandoned look it becomes the hot topic of muggle ghost hunters. Allowing students to use the charms they learned in school and a bit of leg room for the ghosts. Strange occurances that are reported by ghost hunters are just your magical children having a bit of fun. When the hospital was abandoned, magical folk sought out a place to teach and form the magical youth of America. Under the guise of ‘helping mental patients’ they sent letters to families with ‘peculiar’ children to save them from the horrors of the muggle insane aslyums. As these asylums phased out the school kept up with appearances and altered the charms to make the muggles see a more and more decrepit abandoned building.
Behind the Name of the School- As a tribute to America’s very own famous voodoo queen and a desire to pass on magick the school was named for Marie Lavaeu

 #watch me actually buy this fucking deodorant cause of this      (ohhhvienna)

modern and official but only regionally used socially school name: the American College of Enchantment and Sorcery

cribbagematch:

odysseiarex:

renstability:

ziraangel:

evilauthor:

indynerdgirl:

madam-cj-says-relax:

patrickat:

kaiju3:

The American Hogwarts Houses

Look at your school of witchcraft and wizardry. Now look at mine. Now yours. Now back to mine. Sadly, your school is not mine, but if you all got off your broomsticks and started using a real sorcerer’s deodorant, it could smell like mine. Abracadabra! I’m a horse.

Good. Night. I’m done.

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

I AM ALARMED. WHICH ONE IS THE HUFFLEPUFF ONE? THE YELLOW ONE HAS BIRDS AND THAT CONFUSES ME.

It is AMERICAN houses, Ebil. Why would one be hufflepuff? Maybe you are a fox. Cunning, smart, LOYAL. Foxes stay with one mate all their life, in loff. If that ain’t loyalty, i don’t know what is.

The bear, bird, and wolf ain’t got that. Be a fox. Be strong. Be cunning. Be loyal. Be you and never let anyone crush you because while people only see cute and sneaky. You know who you are, and will not break.

Wolfthorn

Crest Animal- Timber Wolf

Colors- Blue and Silver.

Element- Water

Season- Winter

Qualities- Selflessness, Responsibility, Teamwork

Those of the Wolfthorn house value Teamwork and Selflessness over any of the other houses. Like the wolf members of this house learn to attack problems as a singular unit towards a common goal. Each member works to understand each other equally and play to each other’s strengths. In order to do so each house member must remember to serve each other and not themselves, selflessness in teamwork to keep others at the forefront of their mind is the basic key element to any collective strategy. 

House Ghost- Patient Pamuy. 

The house ghost of Wolfthorn is a Hopi woman in her late teens, once the highly revered medicine woman of her village. When the soldiers from the east came in being both Native American and a pracitioner of ‘black magic’ as the soldier, she was the first to die in her village. After a series of gruesome acts commited on her. Now she roams the halls, patiently assisting the members of her house in herbology as it was always a love of her people to be in touch with nature to heal those around her. 

Hawkridge

Crest Animal- Ferruginous Hawk

Colors- Gold and Black

Element- Air

Season- Spring

Qualities- Honesty, Intelligence, Patience

Like the hawk members of this house are patient and intelligent, always waiting for an opportunity to prove their intelligence with their brilliant plans and tactics. Like the hawk this house is sharp and quick with their wit. However, you will never have to know what these house members are thinking as they will let you know, they believe that honesty and intelligence go hand in hand since evidence and truth go hand in hand. The members of this house are very black and white and treat justice with openness. Lying and false information will get you on this house’s bad side quickly.

House Ghost- Confident Cruz

Once a proud Mestizo man in the Mexican Army, he now spends his days confidently recalling the events leading up to his death. Never failing to include each and every individual detail up until the moment of his death. He is proud that he fought for Mexico and for the land of his ancestors against white invaders. When talked to he will talk about Mexico as his proud homeland with nothing but glory and love for his home. Anytime a student has their history incorrect or twisted with the glorification of ‘settlers’ he will quickly and sternly correct them on who the invaders were, and who’s land belonged to who. He will not tolerate lies and false information of the accounts of his people and the basis for the fighting of his territory. However if asked about his military days he will more than likely start rattling off from childhood of admiring his strong father to his days as a soldier. He also enjoys teaching those who are interested in his culture and tries to get as many students interested in Dia de les Muertos. 

Foxcrest

Crest Animal- Red Fox

Colors- Red and White

Element- Fire

Season- Autumn

Qualities- Loyalty, Cunning, Resourcefulness

The cunning trickster, is what most think of when they hear of the fox. The trickster who deceives men and dogs in order to live. However, what you might not think of is loyalty a fox has one mate for their entire life and remains loyal every season even though they are apart. Like the fox members of this house pride themselves on the loyalty to their friends and family. Willing to go to any and all lengths to protect their loved ones and ensure their happiness. Members of this house are also cunning and resourceful, they will find as many ways as they can to keep their head above the water with their loved ones. Because, no one can look after their significants quite like they can. A Foxcrest will do all that they can to succeed in the name of their loved ones, and in their honor.

House Ghost- One-Eyed Jacqueline Thibodeaux.

Once a proud voodoo queen in Louisiana this woman lived with pride and loyalty to her home of Zimbabwe. After being forcibly removed from her lands, brought to Haiti, and then to Mississippi as a slave. She used not only her skill in voodoo magick to escape, but her loyalty with the other slaves on her plantation. To escape the cruelty of the plantation, her and many other slaves escaped on the underground railroad. Using both her magic and cunning she was able to escape with her friends and what remained of her family from the horrors of plantation life to Louisiana where she made a name for herself with her voodoo. Becoming a highly regarded voodoo queen she then helped those with an inclination to magick to help free her brothers and sisters trapped on plantations and then giving them refugee in her home. Soon though, news of her operation spread. Using her divination skills she found of the plot to kill her and the escaped slaves, though she could only save herself and not the newly freed men and women, or save them and not herself. She made the quick choice to save them over herself, and stood her ground where she fought tooth and nail with her magick to ensure the survival of her brothers and sisters. She however lost the fight when a white man pulled a gun and ultimate shot her in the eye by sheer dumb luck. She is both a gentle, and helpful ghost who also ensures that students are well aware of the dishonor and torture she went through in the Americas. When asked for help she always seems to know that you were going to ask for help and appears to you before you have to go and find her.

Bearglove

Crest Animal- Grizzly Bear

Colors- Green and Tan

Element- Earth

Season- Summer

Qualities- Bravery, Curiosity, Leadership

Last but certainly not least the home of the bears. Bears are not the naturally aggressive creature but however are curious and have a hierarchy amongst their species. Just like the bear members of this house are known for their fighting skills and bravery, but are also extremely curious. Members of this house exhibit leadership characterstics and always fight for the top of the chain in any event or subject they’re in. Their competitve drive can sometimes lead to hotheadedness and aggressive outbursts with the other students giving them their bear qualities. Loud, boisterous, and certainly commanding students of Bearglove do not have a hard time making a name for themselves in someway shape or form.

House Ghost- ‘Doc’ Thomas Benton

Among the house ghosts he is the most resented, due to his megalomaniac attitude and his past as a serial killer. While in medschool in the 1920’s he sought any and all information to eternal youth as the drive to be the best in his field and to never die to pass on his superior knowledge. No one knows the true nature of his evil some say it was trauma others say it lied in wait. If you ask the other house ghost they will tell you that he was evil from the start and to his very core. While he was alive he under strange circumstances became a hermit, and soon dead animals were found on his land with strange markings carved into them. And then the farmer’s daughter went missing in his town. When townspeople found him he had carved strange markings on her and was mumbling in an incorherent language before tossing her off a cliff. Everytime he’s asked about his death he gives a new story each time, about the scars on his face. The other ghosts say it was one of his evil experiments done onto himself after the town found him killing the farmer’s daughter, in an attempt to save his own life.

Location of  Lavaeudeen ,the Waverly Hills Sanitarium. 

Built in 1910 and expanded to the enormous abandoned hulk it is today in 1924, Waverly Hills Sanitarium was opened to house tuberculosis patients as an isolation hospital. Doctors at the hospital carried out painful experimental surgeries to treat the disease, often with bloody results. One surgery of last resort involved opening the chest cavity to insert balloons into the lungs and another involved removing ribs to allow the lungs to expand. As many as 64,000 people who were admitted to the hospital died there over the years, and at least one employee is reputed to have hung herself in the laundry room on the fourth floor in the 1930s. Those who passed away at Waverly Hills were moved through the morgue and out of the hospital through the body chute that led cadavers out the back out of sight of the patients. Most of the hospital, including the morgue and body chute, remain intact today.

Or so the muggles think, with this story and the appearance by use of charms to give this school an abandoned look it becomes the hot topic of muggle ghost hunters. Allowing students to use the charms they learned in school and a bit of leg room for the ghosts. Strange occurances that are reported by ghost hunters are just your magical children having a bit of fun. When the hospital was abandoned, magical folk sought out a place to teach and form the magical youth of America. Under the guise of ‘helping mental patients’ they sent letters to families with ‘peculiar’ children to save them from the horrors of the muggle insane aslyums. As these asylums phased out the school kept up with appearances and altered the charms to make the muggles see a more and more decrepit abandoned building.

Behind the Name of the School- As a tribute to America’s very own famous voodoo queen and a desire to pass on magick the school was named for Marie Lavaeu

 #watch me actually buy this fucking deodorant cause of this      (ohhhvienna)

modern and official but only regionally used socially school name: the American College of Enchantment and Sorcery

(via dontbeanassbutt)

4PM
doodlesanddiscord:

thommquackenbush:

jennlyons:

jadelyn:

Are you fucking kidding me? Like, no, Shakespeare wouldn’t tweet a sonnet cause 140 characters is a bit short for that. Wrong medium. But you know what he would have? A very active twitter FULL OF DICK PUNS AND YOUR MOM JOKES okay. (And probably also a blog for the sonnets and longer works, that cross-posts links to twitter anyway.)
Get out of here with that pretentious anti-technology bullshit.

He’d rock the fuck out of memes. Don’t deny it.

Exit, pursued by a doge. much run wow 

I don’t understand people who try to make Shakespeare into a pretentious thing cause he was basically an uneducated dick-joke making dude for the common masses. His historical plays are straight up fanfiction. There’s a scene in Macbeth where two guards are having a conversation as a dude pees on a wall. Get out of here with your Shakespeare snobbery.

doodlesanddiscord:

thommquackenbush:

jennlyons:

jadelyn:

Are you fucking kidding me? Like, no, Shakespeare wouldn’t tweet a sonnet cause 140 characters is a bit short for that. Wrong medium. But you know what he would have? A very active twitter FULL OF DICK PUNS AND YOUR MOM JOKES okay. (And probably also a blog for the sonnets and longer works, that cross-posts links to twitter anyway.)

Get out of here with that pretentious anti-technology bullshit.

He’d rock the fuck out of memes. Don’t deny it.

Exit, pursued by a doge.

much run wow 

I don’t understand people who try to make Shakespeare into a pretentious thing cause he was basically an uneducated dick-joke making dude for the common masses. His historical plays are straight up fanfiction. There’s a scene in Macbeth where two guards are having a conversation as a dude pees on a wall. Get out of here with your Shakespeare snobbery.

(via synapse-heart)

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